Moonlight Boat Ride
What does it mean to obtain your heart’s desire? The most common answer people would give is to work hard. Julian believed so.
In a neighbourhood of big houses in the town of Tawau, stood two houses side by side. Piano melodies have always flowed out of their windowpanes, carried by the wind and filled the neighbours’ gardens with heart-captivating classical music. These were Julian’s and Stella’s houses.
It was Sunday afternoon, and like every Sunday afternoons, Julian was on his way to Stella’s house. However, it was a bit different today. Sounds of a violin and a piano accompaniment poured out of the balcony of Stella’s music room. Like an aria, it sang a prayer, and the music− Schubert’s Ave Maria. Julian savoured the music from the outside, paying particular attention to the piano with a solemn expression. He gazed at the balcony on the second floor. The sun’s rays pierced Julian’s back, causing his back to sweat when he realised he had been standing still for a while. He hastened his steps towards the music room.
Upon entering the music room, the music had finished. Stella was reading a music score, while Emily made her way to the table at the balcony where the smell of cinnamon bread was coming from.
Emily poured a glass of iced honey lemon from the pitcher when she noticed Julian in the room.
‘You’re late,’ Emily said.
‘I knew you were coming to practice for your recital, so I came later.’
Stella lifted her gaze to Julian when she heard him.
‘Snacks are on the table,’ Stella said.
Julian shook his head. ‘That accompaniment was beautiful. I loved it.’
‘It’s just an accompaniment,’ Stella sighed and smiled.
‘But I’m still far behind from being as good as you.’ Julian’s eyebrows were faintly furrowed. ‘I need to practice more.’
‘What about my playing?’ Emily spoke from the balcony. ‘It was peak sophistication! You pianohead should be thankful you got to enjoy this for free.’
‘Try saying that again when you finally made it big.’
‘Congratulations, you just uninvited yourself to my first show!’
‘Stop bickering, you guys…’ Stella sighed.
‘By the way,’ Julian said. ‘What should we do today? Should we duel or warm up?
‘Well, the day is still young, so let’s warm up. Any music in mind?’
Julian paused for a moment. ‘Debussy?’
‘Going for the favourites, huh? Petite Suite it is?’
‘You know it.’
‘Alright! Sit next to me then. Let’s get this music session going.’
Julian and Stella sat in front of the grand piano. With two pairs of hands, they started playing the first movement. The weaving of those notes told the story of a romantic boat ride, on a lake at dusk. Each movement was happier than the last. No sheet music was in front of them. They knew the song by heart.
There was a knock on the door, cutting off the fourth movement. It was Stella’s mother. In her hand, a white envelope. The two pianists glanced at each other before Stella stepped away from the piano and grabbed the envelope. She gasped when she read who the sender was.
‘It’s here, it’s here!’ Stella said. Her hands trembled.
Julian’s heart rate increased. ‘Open it!’ he said, ‘oh, Stella, you better get in.’
‘Shh! Don’t make me even more anxious!’
‘What’s with all the noise you guys are making?’ Emily said as she entered the music room.
‘Remember the time we told you about the Paris Conservatoire?’ Julian said.
‘That school you two wanted to get in even though their acceptance rate was crazy low?’
‘Yes!’ Stella held the letter firmly. ‘We applied and their letter just came in!’
‘So? What does it say?’ Julian said.
Stella opened the envelope with haste and read the contents of the letter out loud. ‘We are pleased to inform that you have been accepted into the Paris Conservatoire!’
They squealed with so much energy.
‘Awesome Stells! I knew you’d get in. You’re our special gem after all!’
‘I’m proud of you,’ Julian said. ‘Your hard work paid off.’
‘You worked way harder than me though!’ Stella pulled him in a very tight embrace. ‘With this, half of our dream came true.’
‘What about Jules’ letter?’
Julian drew back and looked at the piano. His fingers fidgeted.
‘What’s wrong?’ Stella said. She leaned sideways to get into Julian’s line of sight.
‘What if I can’t fulfil my half?’
‘Don’t be silly,’ Stella answered.
‘You literally practise twice as much as Stells does. Just get out of here and find out what your letter says!’
A familiar honk was heard from outside.
‘That’s my dad.’ Emily said. ‘Let’s go down together, Jules.’
‘Julian, I’ll come by your place later. I have to tell my parents the news first.’
Julian nodded. ‘You know, your parents are very lucky to have you. A talented pianist.’
Stella puts a hand on Julian’s shoulder. ‘You too.’
Julian waved at Emily and her father before running to his house. When he got into his house, sure enough, a letter from the Paris Conservatoire was slipped under the front door.
Julian climbed up the stairs to his music room and shut the door behind him. He stood next to his piano and placed his envelope on it. He turned and paced around the room. He walked back to the piano and tried to reach for the letter, but he stopped and stepped back.
Julian took a deep breath, and slowly, he forced his lead-like fingers to open the letter and read its contents.
There was no movement in the music room. Julian stood close to the piano, with the letter in his hands. His mind read the same line over and over again. ‘We regret to inform you…’ When those words registered, he dropped on the cold floor. That refrain grazed his heart.
‘I didn’t get in?’ Julian murmured.
His breathing stuttered, and his lips quivered. Water started to pool in his eyes, blurring his sight of the floor. When he blinked, the wetness trailed down his cheeks. The letter that hung between his fingertips slipped to the floor.
‘Did I not practice enough?’ He murmured again.
He spent long hours of practice every day. He made sure to practice twice as much as Stella, twice as harder as Stella. He always had a metronome near him to perfect his tempo. He studied various composers, some of which Stella never heard of. He studies music scores more than Stella.
But he did not have half the talent Stella had. Maybe he did not practice enough to make up for the lack of talent he had. She had always been a fast learner. She won more piano competitions than him in recent years.
Julian thought of the past when they were still children. She used to be intrigued by Julian’s piano, so much that she visited his house every day to listen him play. Listening to Julian’s piano made Stella jump for joy and that made Julian want to play the piano more.
Soon, Julian made Stella sit in front of the piano because he wanted her to experience the piano more than just having her listen to him play. He taught her how to play simple notes, and with that, Stella started to attend piano lessons. When they shared a piano class, they learned that they could play a piece together on just one piano, and their first duet piece was Debussy’s Petite Suite.
Since then, they started to share a deep fondness for Debussy’s music. They found out Debussy used to study in the Paris Conservatoire. They dreamed of playing Debussy’s songs together, at the place where Debussy learned and pursued music so they could experience a sliver of Debussy’s life as a musician. With the desire they shared, they pinkie promised that they would one day go to the conservatoire to play the piano together.
They were dedicated to this dream. They practised every day at home, and when Sunday came, they would come together and showed each other what they learned and practised. As the years passed, these weekly sessions became opportunities for them to test their skills against each other, with performances and duels. One day, Julian realised Stella was more talented than him, and she was achieving much more than him. Little by little, he lost a sense of boldness and straightforwardness in his music.
Right at that very moment, Julian did not know what to do. He felt despair. What would Stella react when she finds out? What would she say? His hands were shaking. He could not bring himself to imagine what would happen next.
Julian started to have thoughts. Thoughts that he inhibited their only chance of getting into the conservatoire together, that maybe he could never fulfil his role of achieving their dream, that he failed.
On the floor, He saw the piano in front of him, and he thought that just the sight of the piano made it felt like its weight crushed his inmost being.
‘Julian?’ A voice spoke behind the door.
Julian froze.
‘I didn’t hear from you for a while, so I let myself in to see what’s going on.’
Stella was on the other side of the door. Julian did not know what to do. What he was afraid of had come for him. His eyes shift around the room. He wanted to run away, but he could not, so he hid below the dark piano.
Stella knocked a few times, but Julian did not respond. She opened the door, probably to check if Julian was in there. When Stella entered the music room, she stood in silence. She looked down and noticed Julian under the piano with his gaze on the floor. His eyes were red and swollen.
She slowly approached him and sat on the ground next to him. She took the piece of paper on the floor to read its contents, and surely enough, it was an answer to what had happened. Julian knew that Stella was shocked to see him in this state. The Julian she was seeing next to her was severely crushed. He was never the type of person to be defeated over a failure. In normal circumstances, he would have kept moving forward and just continued to practice more, for hours on end. This was a new sight. He knew he looked utterly hopeless.
‘Sorry,’ Julian spoke in a broken voice. A rush of tears came out of him. He buried his face in his knees.
‘What are you sorry for?’ Stella said. ‘For this flimsy piece of paper?’
‘I’m really sorry, Stella. I’m sorry. I failed. I caused us to fall short of achieving our dream. I’ve failed you.’
‘Of course not! This is just a hurdle!’
‘After all those years of hard work and practice. It led me to this. What was the point of all of that?’
‘All those hours you spent on practising made you a wonderful pianist that you are today.’
‘A wonderful failure of a pianist.’
Stella sighed, and she looked at Julian with great exasperation.
‘Maybe it wasn’t meant to be,’ Julian continued. ‘Maybe this is the universe telling me that I shouldn’t be pursuing music. A sign that the music world rejected me. A sign that Debussy rejected me.
Upon hearing Julian’s words of self-pity, she was fuming. ‘What! Just because you were rejected once, you got yourself a fast pass into crazy town?! Get a hold of yourself for heaven’s sake!’
Julian fell silent.
‘You worked so hard for this dream. Both you and I know of this more than anyone else, the conservatoire also knows this. And you’re just going to throw it all away at the first sign of an obstacle like this?’
Stella shifted her position so that Julian could not avoid her eyes. ‘Even after I finish my practice in the afternoon, you’d carry on even until dinner.’
Julian looked at the floor.
Stella sighed again. This time, she forced him to look at her by clasping her hands between his face. ‘I've been pulling my weight too. And now you're saying you're going to give up? Take responsibility.’
‘You don’t know anything.’
Stella’s face turned red as stared at him. ‘What is it that I don’t know? I listen to your piano all the time. Every day. You’re a great pianist. Your problem is that you don’t believe in yourself.’
‘You don’t know how much I want to be as good as you!’
Stella looked into Julian’s eyes with resolution.
‘But I could never, ever, catch up.’ Julian said, rubbing his wet face with his hands. ‘No matter how much I tried.’
Stella calmed down and lowered her tone, ‘Have you been feeling this all this time?’
‘It’s not your fault though… The problem lies with me. I introduced the piano to you, but you quickly gotten better at it than me. At one point, I was trying very hard to catch up to you. I couldn’t accept the fact that you were better than me.’
‘I see…’
Julian continued, ‘And look, you got accepted to enrol in the Paris Conservatoire. We both know how difficult it is to get in, but you did. This is proof that I’m not as good as you.’
‘You need to look at yourself with your true value. I’ve always tried to discourage you from having less of an opinion of yourself, and now I’m going to keep discouraging you, especially after you’ve told me that you see me as someone “unreachable”, someone that’s “better than you”.’
Stella continued, ‘I don’t care what others may think about who’s better between us. You’ve always been the best pianist I know, ever since we were kids. You work hard. You practice a lot. You study a lot. You did your best in trying to know each composer of the music you play.’
‘Sorry…’ Julian muttered.
‘You should say sorry to yourself! I can’t believe you’re beating yourself up for something like this.’
Stella continued again, ‘I’m going to talk in an analogy of Debussy’s Petite Suite.’
‘Spare me with another of your analogies,’ Julian sighed.
‘Remember that the first movement of that piece was an inspiration from Verlaine's poems?’ Stella said, ignoring Julian.
‘Yes,’ Julian replied with little energy. ‘Two poems from Verlaine’s book ‘Fêtes Galantes’ inspired Debussy.’
Stella nodded. ‘We once read that in ‘En bateau’, the first movement expressed a desire for romance, but that desire wasn't executed, and there was a sense of an unfulfilled promise You could think that this is your relationship to music. You want to go to the conservatoire to play Debussy together with me. But receiving this rejection letter can lead to unfulfilling a promise we made years ago.’
‘What are you trying to say?’
‘This is just the first movement in the music score of your life. You have three more movements after this first one, and each will be happier than the last. Your boat had just been rocking slightly, but you have to keep fighting and move forward. I believe in you, Julian.
‘You know,’ Julian said. ‘Your analogies are never the best, a stark contrast to your piano playing.’
‘Are you trying to pick a fight?’
‘But this one is not as bad,’ Julian finally smiled.
Stella smiled in response. ‘Now that you’ve cheered up, you should go and do something than waste your time.’
‘What do you think I should do, exactly?’
‘Contact the conservatoire,’ Stella said, in a matter of fact manner.
‘You’re not serious, right? They just sent me a rejection letter.’
‘What are you scared of? They’re not going to do anything to you.’ Stella shrugged. ‘Tell them you want to make an appeal. If that doesn’t work, just reapply. If you can’t go now, I will wait for you there.’
‘And you’re okay with that?’ Julian said.
‘Yeah. Our promise was to go and play the piano together at the place where Debussy pursued music. We didn’t say we have to go there together, so it’s okay for us to go separately.’
‘Okay. Since you meant what you said, then I will do so.’
‘How about we call the conservatoire now?’ Stella said, standing up.
‘Now???’
‘Why not? It’s five in the afternoon now, so it should be eleven in the morning there.’
With Stella’s immediate suggestion, Julian grabbed his phone to call the conservatoire. After a while of speaking to the person on the other side of the line, Julian hung up.
‘So, what did they say?’ Stella said.
‘They said that they couldn’t send me an offer letter because they were understaffed,’ Julian’s face lit up. ‘But if another candidate drops the conservatoire’s offer, I will be next in line! The offer will be given to me!’
Stella pulled Julian in another of her tight embraces. ‘I’ve always believed that you’re a great pianist. And it seems that the conservatoire thinks so too.’
Julian returned Stella’s embrace. ‘You’re right. I’m sorry for just now. Thank you so much, Stella, for believing in me. Even though I stopped believing in myself.
‘Just remember that just because someone is better than you, that doesn’t disqualify the fact that you’re also a great and talented pianist.’
It was already dusk when Stella and Julian got out of the music room. Julian’s parents were back home from work. With Stella’s company, Julian explained to them about the conservatoire’s letter, that it arrived and about his call with the admissions. He also told them that he would wait for next year if he could not be in the same batch with Stella.
A year later, Julian was making his way along the streets of Paris in a rush. It was almost nine in the morning, so he dashed with all his might. He weaved his way through the crowd of pedestrians.
The morning was cold because it was the fall season, but Julian was sweating under his thick trench coat. He was also hungry because he did not have time to get breakfast.
Julian stopped to breathe when he finally reached the entrance of the Paris Conservatoire. His wristwatch read that he only had less than ten minutes before class starts. He quickly picked up the pace to his lesson room on the second floor. He did not want to be late for his first joint lesson with Stella.
Julian was out of breath when he reached the lesson room. Noticing his arrival, Stella opened the door for him and helped to take his belongings off him.
‘I can’t believe you’re almost late for this class. Fix that bad habit of yours.’
‘Yeah,’ Julian heaved a sigh of relief. ‘Good thing our instructor isn’t here yet.’
Julian made his way to one of the two pianos in the music room and sat on the piano bench. He took off his trench coat and fanned his neck with his hand.
‘Since you’re late, have you eaten?’ Stella said as she handed Julian with a pack of grape juice.
‘Obviously not, please tell me you have something for me to eat.’
Stella pulled out a piece of cinnamon bread from her bag, ‘you’re in luck.’
Julian took the bread from Stella’s hands and quickly ate the bread.
‘Bonjour!’ Their instructor greeted them when he opened the door to their lesson room. ‘Are you both Julian and Stella?’
‘Yes,’ Stella replied.
‘To start off your first joint lesson, you two shall play a piece of your choosing.’
Julian and Stella looked at each other with excitement, and they sat together in front of a piano.
‘Oh, what is this?’ Their instructor said. ‘You’re sharing one piano?’
‘Yes, sir.’ Julian said.
‘What are you playing for me today?’
‘Petite Suite,’ Julian and Stella said in unison.
​
Reflection
‘Moonlight Boat Ride’ is a personal little love letter to classical music. I love the piano and the violin, but I never had the resources to pursue it. It is also inspired by Debussy and his piano four hands suite. This story was told in a third-person limited omniscient point of view. While writing this story, I had issues with writing in this point of view because I was caught up in writing just in third-person. However, I have attempted to correct the mistakes.
Furthermore, this is also a story about jealousy. Since at the early stages of planning this story, I wanted to explore jealousy because it intrigued me. It is a difficult emotion, and it is not an emotion that I have often felt. This was why writing this story had a bumpy start. I wanted to see a more extreme form of it as a challenge. However, I realised I was still not equipped with a deep understanding of jealousy. Due to that problem, the story did not work at first. I have realised another mistake, that I should not have used the plot to construct my character, but to construct my character first and use that knowledge of my character to determine how the story goes. With the mistakes I have learned in mind, I sat down and got myself to understand my main character, Julian. Despite my understanding of jealousy was not my strong suit, I have observed how jealousy was expressed through other’s speech. It was often disguised as a form of admiration. Hence, this form of jealousy was imbued in the story.
Although jealousy is one of the main themes of this story, the main core is Julian’s yearning. Butler calls it the “dynamics of desire”, and that it is central to a story’s plot. This has been made explicit in the story. Julian’s desire was to study in the Paris Conservatoire with Stella, and he wanted both of them to play music made by their favourite composer, Debussy, in the place he studied. However, this desire was impeded by his lack of self-confidence. When received a rejection letter, he immediately felt crushed because of the fragility of his confidence. That same lack of confidence also stirred jealousy in him towards his best friend, Stella.
In this story’s dialogue, I have attempted to use it to reveal the dynamics of my characters. I have used it to show that Julian had no self-confidence and that Stella had been discouraging his behaviour through his speech. In addition, I have also used dialogue to make my characters sound more recognisable. This was especially true for Emily. She used informal speech and gave Julian and Stella nicknames. For Julian and Stella, they had a more similar language to display that they grew up together as childhood friends. Despite that, Stella had a slightly informal tone in her language because she spent a lot of time with Emily. Moreover, fewer dialogue tags were used for the flow of the characters’ turn-taking. However, while lesser dialogue tags were used for better turn-taking, the dialogue tags that were included were used for pacing.
In terms of scene visualisation, I had smoothened the flow of each scene. I initially had issues with the flow of scenes because I had made a mistake of visualising the scenes like a portrait instead of cinematic shot sequences. Additionally, I have operated “slow motion” and “fast motion” in the time frame of each scene through language. The moment-to-moment detailed shots showed the slow passage of time while the more ‘telling’ parts showed the swift passing of time. I have also operated “slow motions” for scenes that described the emotions of my characters in order for the reader to dwell on those emotions more, and hopefully connect with the character in a deeper level.
I have also used similes and analogy to add to the story’s imagery. Similes like “like an aria” were used for the readers to develop vivid images of the scenes. Furthermore, the Petite Suite analogy was not only used for developing imagery of the music, but it was also a device to further the plot.
Moreover, symbols such as the “sun’s heat” and the “floor” have been used to symbolise emotions. The heat of the hot afternoon sun was used to express jealousy, as intense heat makes one feel light-headed and uncomfortable. The cold floor was used to express despair as it is stone-hard and being on the floor represents being at the lowest.
Lastly, as I was rewriting this story, I was reminded that I have always wanted to be a children's book writer. I came to study this course because of that reason. Consequently, this realisation may have influenced the tone of my writing. It carried the fragrance of the innocence of a children's book, because of that, I let that lack of maturity flow out in this story. I was given feedback to have more maturity in this story, and I agree that it could have been a better story if the characters had more maturity. However, as I reflected on the reason for wanting to study this Creative Writing course in the first place, I thought it was fitting for this story to be told in a childlike fragrance.
In conclusion, I have reflected upon the techniques I have used as well as my growth as a writer while writing this story.
Bibliography
Bingham, Harry, "How To Write Dialogue In Fiction: Rules And Examples | Jericho Writers", Jerichowriters.Com <https://jerichowriters.com/writing-dialogue/> [Accessed 8 June 2020]
Butler, Robert Olen, From Where You Dream: The Process Of Writing Fiction (New York: Grove Press, 2005)
Robert Olen Butler, From Where You Dream: The Process Of Writing Fiction (New York: Grove Press, 2005), pp. 39-62.
Harry Bingham, "How To Write Dialogue In Fiction: Rules And Examples | Jericho Writers", Jerichowriters.Com <https://jerichowriters.com/writing-dialogue/> [Accessed 8 June 2020].
Butler, p.66.